So I have talked with some people about my writing style and while I write this blog mainly for myself, it's not in my usual writing style. Just so I don't have to keep emailing my stories to curious people, I'm posting the first piece I wrote in my writing class last spring that is part of the book I'm putting together. And yes, I got an A :) (this was my first skydiving experience, not the most recent one, which meant something entirely different to me)...
Thrilled to be starting a new chapter of my life, the excitement builds as I sit inside the cramped, single-propeller plane, straddling the random guy in front of me.
“It’s a metaphor,” I tell myself, “I’m jumping out of my old life and into my new.”
My ex husband sits in front, blankly staring out the windows and my best friend at my left is ghostly pale. As it became clear to me that after 12 years together a divorce was inevitable, I realized I needed something symbolic to mark this change in life. I had this vision of myself perched at the door of a plane and looking back at my ex as I leave him and our life together and dive into my new life with my best friend right beside me.
“I hate you, why did you make me do this?” Kelly asks me.
“Because it’s awesome,” I reply, ever so glib.
Now, climbing to 14,000 feet, I realize that I was right…this was a great idea! Jump away from the bitterness and miserable fighting, soar thru the air of freedom and land a new, independent woman, ready to take on whatever life decides to throw at me.
“I have the best ideas,” I tell myself, “This was exactly what I wanted and needed this to be.” I’m ecstatic, I’m pumped, I’m ready.
I watch out the window of the plane that has packed in so many people, we look and feel like sardines, legs wrapped around the strangers in front of one another. The freezing cold air gives me goosebumps through my hot pink jumpsuit, the smell of 20 people is almost nauseating, and the cocky asshole that I’ll be jumping tandem with keeps yapping in my ear, but I don’t notice any of it. I watch the horribleness that has been these last three years get smaller and smaller, as does the world.
The door rolls up on the side of the plane, and my excitement and hopes for this to be something incredible fly out with the first jumpers, and panic sets in.
“The door just opened. Plane doors aren’t supposed to open. Holy shit, what the hell was I thinking? Jumping out of a plane as metaphor for life? Seriously?? Why do I always do this? Why am I the girl who always has to do the crazy stunts?”
People continue to tumble out the door of the plane.
“Ohhh shit there goes my ex!”
Scooting on my knees toward the door I know that my turn is next and every fiber of my being wants to grab hold of something and not let go. Simple pride engages with my survival instinct and it’s a battle to the death. Pride takes the victory and I’m at the door.
“We roll forward on three,” the cocky asshole yells in my ear.
I know it’s too late to back out now, I shut my eyes and clench my teeth and pray that I’ll remember everything from the class on what to do, and if not that the cocky asshole does.
“One…”
“Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God.”
“Two…”
“I’m a fucking idiot, what’s wrong with me.”
"Three!”
Out we roll, tumbling thru the air at 120 miles an hour, before I remember to arch my back to align myself with the horizon. I peek open my eyes and I don’t feel like I’m soaring thru freedom into a new life, I feel like my ears are frozen and with them, my brain. Cocky asshole taps me on the head to remind me to check the horizon. I don’t. He taps again to remind me to check my altimeter. I don’t. He taps yet another time to remind me to make sure I know where the handle is to pull the chute. I don’t check. All I can think of is how fast I’m flying thru the air, how amazing it is that I’m experiencing this, and not at all of what I’m supposed to remember and what it’s supposed to signify.
Finally, cocky asshole throws my arm in front of my face, where I notice on my wrist altimeter that it’s chute pulling time. I reach behind me for the handle and grab a little crotch instead…oops! Handle finally found, I give a good yank and the chute explodes open behind us. The ride down is peaceful and beautiful and amazing. I’m not stressing over my life and the new direction its taking. Instead, I’m watching the world and realizing that I do have this woman inside me that can handle anything.
Running in, I detach and rush Kelly with a hug and decide that I do in fact have incredible, amazing, awesome ideas. And while it wasn’t entirely what I thought it would be, skydiving certainly opened my eyes and was an incredible way to start my new life.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Do you know how I like everything to be about me??
Libra is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac, all the others representing either humans or animals. Many modern astrologers regard it as the most desirable of zodiacal types because it represents the zenith of the year, the high point of the seasons, when the harvest of all the hard work of the spring is reaped. There is a mellowness and sense of relaxation in the air as mankind enjoys the last of the summer sun and the fruits of his toil. Librans too are among the most civilized of the twelve zodiacal characters and are often good looking. They have elegance, charm and good taste, are naturally kind, very gentle, and lovers of beauty, harmony (both in music and social living) and the pleasures that these bring.
They have good critical faculty and are able to stand back and look impartially at matters which call for an impartial judgment to be made on them. But they do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions, for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident; and among their faults is an impatience of criticism and a greed for approval. But their characters are on the whole balanced, diplomatic and even tempered.
Librans are sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them." They are very social human beings. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and their ideal for their own circle and for society as a whole is unity.
Their cast of mind is artistic rather than intellectual, though they are usually too moderate and well balanced to be avant garde in any artistic endeavor. They have good perception and observation and their critical ability, with which they are able to view their own efforts as well as those of others, gives their work integrity.
In their personal relationships they show understanding of the other person's point of view, trying to resolve any differences by compromise, and are often willing to allow claims against themselves to be settled to their own disadvantage rather than spoil a relationship. They like the opposite sex to the extent of promiscuity sometimes, and may indulge in romanticism bordering on sentimentality.
Their marriages, however, stand a good chance of success because they are frequently the union of "true minds". The Libran's continuing kindness toward his or her partner mollifies any hurt the latter may feel if the two have had a tiff. Nor can the Libran's spouse often complain that he or she is not understood, for the Libran is usually the most empathetic of all the zodiacal types and the most ready to tolerate the beloved's failings.
The negative Libran character may show frivolity, flirtatiousness and shallowness. It can be changeable and indecisive, impatient of routine, colorlessly conventional and timid, easygoing to the point of inertia, seldom angry when circumstances demand a show of annoyance at least; and yet Librans can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage. Their love of pleasure may lead them into extravagance; Libran women extravagant, jealous and careless about money sometimes squander their wealth and talents in their overenthusiasm for causes which they espouse. Both sexes can become great gossipers. A characteristic of the type is an insatiable curiosity that tempts them to enquire into every social scandal in their circle.
In their work the description "lazy Libra" which is sometimes given is actually more alliterative than true. Librans can be surprisingly energetic, though it is true that they dislike coarse, dirty work. Although some are modestly content, others are extremely ambitious. With their dislike of extremes they make good diplomats but perhaps poor party politicians, for they are moderate in their opinions and able to see other points of view. Some work philanthropically for humanity with great self-disciple and significant results.
They have good critical faculty and are able to stand back and look impartially at matters which call for an impartial judgment to be made on them. But they do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions, for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident; and among their faults is an impatience of criticism and a greed for approval. But their characters are on the whole balanced, diplomatic and even tempered.
Librans are sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them." They are very social human beings. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and their ideal for their own circle and for society as a whole is unity.
Their cast of mind is artistic rather than intellectual, though they are usually too moderate and well balanced to be avant garde in any artistic endeavor. They have good perception and observation and their critical ability, with which they are able to view their own efforts as well as those of others, gives their work integrity.
In their personal relationships they show understanding of the other person's point of view, trying to resolve any differences by compromise, and are often willing to allow claims against themselves to be settled to their own disadvantage rather than spoil a relationship. They like the opposite sex to the extent of promiscuity sometimes, and may indulge in romanticism bordering on sentimentality.
Their marriages, however, stand a good chance of success because they are frequently the union of "true minds". The Libran's continuing kindness toward his or her partner mollifies any hurt the latter may feel if the two have had a tiff. Nor can the Libran's spouse often complain that he or she is not understood, for the Libran is usually the most empathetic of all the zodiacal types and the most ready to tolerate the beloved's failings.
The negative Libran character may show frivolity, flirtatiousness and shallowness. It can be changeable and indecisive, impatient of routine, colorlessly conventional and timid, easygoing to the point of inertia, seldom angry when circumstances demand a show of annoyance at least; and yet Librans can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage. Their love of pleasure may lead them into extravagance; Libran women extravagant, jealous and careless about money sometimes squander their wealth and talents in their overenthusiasm for causes which they espouse. Both sexes can become great gossipers. A characteristic of the type is an insatiable curiosity that tempts them to enquire into every social scandal in their circle.
In their work the description "lazy Libra" which is sometimes given is actually more alliterative than true. Librans can be surprisingly energetic, though it is true that they dislike coarse, dirty work. Although some are modestly content, others are extremely ambitious. With their dislike of extremes they make good diplomats but perhaps poor party politicians, for they are moderate in their opinions and able to see other points of view. Some work philanthropically for humanity with great self-disciple and significant results.
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